Saturday, May 27, 2006

I woke up and ate in my sleep the night before last. I was terrified. I haven't done that in a long time, and I woke up in the morning to find crumbs everywhere.

I prayed and prayed before bed last night. I did wake up but for some reason, I was able to stop the bingeing, and instead I only ate a piece of ham. Progress not perfection I guess.

The other miracle was that my roommate had tons of icecream and normally, I would have stolen it, eaten it, and then replaced it the next morning. I didn't even touch it. Thank God.

3 Comments:

Blogger Sober Chick said...

Hi Miss Anonymous, welcome to the some good recovery. I just finished reading up on your posts. My heart goes out to you and this struggle you are currently in battle with.

In one of your post you were writing about looking at yourself obsessing about your body image. I had this same experience earlier this week. My hair was not workig for me, and I ended up in a frenzy cursing, breathing heavy, wanting to jump out of my skin. I was an hour late to work. I called my supervisor and told him the truth. I can laugh at my mood, my moment today. For me, this is healing.

There were years when I went without BPs thinking "how did I ever do those behaviors." Then I would slip, and it would be worser than the last. Progress, such a hard thing to grasp for people like us but not impossible. It is BIG that you left the ice cream there, a wonderful action.

I hope you stay and am looking forward to listening to your growth with this battle.

12:06 AM  
Blogger Da Gal said...

Hello there! I found you through sober chick. I too am in recovery and have a blog about it. I look forward to coming back and catching up on what you've wrote. My recovery blog is the one called, I put my hand in yours.

Congratulations on the progress - that is key! One day at a time.

10:20 PM  
Blogger james said...

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2:13 AM  

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